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"It's not the honors and the prizes and the fancy outsides of life which ultimately nourish our souls. It's the knowing that we can be trusted, that we never have to fear the truth, that the bedrock of our very being is good stuff." (Fred Rogers)
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August 2016

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Sunday, January 24th, 2016 12:20 pm
(Crossposted from LiveJournal)

The Distracted Woman's Daybook - "Snow-zilla" Edition
(idea based on one by Peggy Hostetler; concept revision by Angie Brennan; other changes are mine)

my 'Mad Men Yourself' iconIn my front yard... -- and all around the region -- are approximately two feet of snow. The plow has been nowhere in sight, and as of yesterday all my workplaces are closed through Tuesday. So far we still have our power, but my coffee-maker is not working, which takes the blessing-count down by one.

Around the house... are all sorts of projects to which I could devote my snowed-in time. I *did* take down the Christmas tree, but as I began the process before the snow, I'm not sure it counts.

In the kitchen... are *way* too many stocked-up treats. How long did I think we'd be snowed in, I wonder? And why did I suppose we'd need so much sugar?

I am pondering... happiness, and why it is so hard to sustain. For a person who's been depressed for more than five years now, I am very resourceful at stirring up *moments* of happiness. Seriously, I have many, many happy moments. I just can't seem to sustain an inner glow. I suppose I could survive like this for the rest of my natural life -- burning kindling to stay just warm enough, but never quite getting the big log at the center of the campfire lit. Indeed, I expect a lot of people live so. But I seem to remember that it wasn't always this way.

I am hoping... to get back to NYC soon, just for a day, to see a play that's closing on the 14th of Feb. But I'm not sure how I can swing a free day, not to mention justify the expense quite so soon after being there for BSI Weekend (i.e., just last week) and seeing two B'way plays while there.

I am learning... ummm ... gosh, I don't know whether I'm currently learning anything. Maybe how important it is to like yourself, since you are so often stuck alone with her.

Also, how much I dislike politics of any kind (national, local, office, sexual, whatever). Yes, there's something behind that statement, and maybe I'll go into it some other time.

I am thankful for... the fact that my recent NYC trip was set for LAST weekend and not this one. Surely if it *had* been this one, then the event (BSI Weekend) for which I had planned to go up would simply have been canceled, seeing as how this storm was spotted well in advance and many things were (wisely, it turned out) pre-emptively canceled. I'd've been out a lot of money, though since most of it was spent months ago, I wouldn't have felt the pinch in my wallet near as much as in my heart, over the prospect of missing a good time.

Lucky.

I am wearing... pyjamas. I'm snowed in, remember?

I am creating... memories, I reckon. The boy and I have baked cookies and played board games and in general tried to make the best of being housebound.

I am going... to clean the bathrooms, later today. There; I said it on the internet. Now I'm committed.

I am reading... a Holmes pastiche called Art in the Blood, written by a friend of mine.

I've been watching... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much TV. Yes, that still includes NCIS re-runs. But also, Agent Carter is back!

I've been listening to... my Hamilton CD. Yes, Hamilton was one of the plays I saw last weekend, and, yes, it was as good as expected.

I am looking forward to... the thaw, though it means the beginning of a new semester. I am not a particular fan of cold weather.

One of my favorite things... is New York City. Sorry, but I've only been home a week, and I am still living on it.

My plans for the rest of the week... include eventually starting classes (so, I guess, finishing my syllabi).

A quote for today... from Hamilton: "I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory."

Lin-Manuel Miranda says this (and variations on it) as Alexander Hamilton, whom he portrays as a man with a driving sense of his own mortality. The first time he uttered the line in the show I had to *make* myself not fixate on it -- and I think that even if I *weren't* a depressive I'd've glommed onto that line, because there's a universe of meaning in it (which is kinda the definition of poetry, right?).

Here is a picture I am sharing with you... It's Hamilton, of course. Alexander and his posse gearing up for revolution, I think, some time in Act I.

Lin-Manuel Miranda and members of the cast of 'Hamilton'

 
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